Why do things like this happen?...

Danny said I was going to jinx it... I shouldn’t be surprised that he is right again. I guess I opened my mouth way too soon. I had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago. It should have been a 10 week ultrasound. But everything wasn’t adding up. There was no heartbeat and the fetus and egg sack was the size of a 6 week fetus. There should have been a heartbeat by that time. So my worst fears were coming true. My OB/GYN (Dr. Edwin England, if you are looking, is at the new Riverton Hospital). He is seriously so great. But he recommended that we do another blood test to check the HCG levels. So I did. The levels were at 54,000. These levels were consistent with a 10 week pregnancy, not a 6 week fetus. So he sent me for another HCG test in 2 days. The levels had dropped to 37,000. Which indicated that my body was going to miscarry it just hadn’t figured it out yet. So I went another week, expecting to just start spontaneously hemorrhaging at any moment!! I was a head case. I was given two options, I could take a medication that would cause me to have contractions and miscarry naturally, or I could do a d&c. Neither option sounded very exciting. But I decided to do the pill. But then I learned that I had to take the pill for 3 days, and it may not work on the first dose. So I would have to do it again for 3 days. That meant another week of being panicked about “spontaneous combustion”. I was scared to tell you the truth. I didn’t know what to expect I wasn’t sure if it was going to be really painful. Because between you and me, I have had other procedures done, or experiences where the nurses or doc says, “oh you will have cramping like a period but it won’t be bad” . What that tells me is not everyone feels like they are going to die on the first day of their period. Well maybe I’m a extra huge wimp because there are times when a couple Lortab is the only thing that will help me survive!!
Anywho, I was a head case by that point. So, I decided to just do the d&c. I hated making that decision, but in the end I’m glad I did. Emotionally the trauma was already heavy. The d&c allowed me to be over it quickly. Though I will say this, I was an emotional wreck for a couple days after. I guess you still have all the same hormones that follow pregnancy. But I am feeling much better now. I don’t know why things like this happen. But I do know this, Lola and Henry are two of the biggest miracles in this world. Wow I feel like the luckiest person on earth to have two of the most wonderful kids. We worked hard to get them and they are worth all the blood, sweat, tears and money!!! :)
The whole miracle of being pregnant was because of Lola fasting (see older post). Lola has been really confused by this turn of events. She will say things like, “Mom, your going to the hospital and the doctor will make the baby better”, or “The baby is just too small to tell right now mom”. I tell her no Lola it just doesn’t work that way. Then she replied, “It’s okay mom, I can fast again!” I guess I just need to have the faith of a child.